…I’ve got an answer: I’m going to fly away…

Max, my black lab of 11 years was put to sleep this morning. One of the saddest moments of my young life. What can I say, I truly feel that I have lost a companion who has been by my side since I was 9 years old. This dog had seen me through more life than most people around me. Absolutely loyal and loving, everything someone could ask for in a friend. I know that after I finish writing this that I will head to the bed that is in my old room, carefully stepping to make sure I don’t accidentally step on Max. The routine that revolved around him was so very comforting and I only realize this now, this seems to be a theme in deaths.
I will miss being woken up in the middle of the night because Max was getting up to sleep closer to me because I had shifted in my sleep. I will miss that any time I touched the car keys I would hear the jingle of his collar has he bounded for me hoping for his “car ride.” The very utterance of the word “car ride” would send Max into a furry or running and tail wagging. I will miss the whistle from his nose I as we drove down I5 bringing me back to school or even how he would wedge his head in between my shoulder and the wall of the car. I was never quite sure why he did that, I just know that I liked it… maybe that is why he did it.
I will miss how on some days Max would never leave my side. I will miss how great of a pillow Max was, when I’d get a little lonely I’d just lay down with him, my head on his side just listening his chest rise and fall with every breath. I miss that from here on out when I get situated in bed, I won’t see Max sitting right beside me, his face full of anticipation because he knows that as soon as I say “come on up” he’ll be to sleep next to me on my soft bed. I miss that every time that I would enter a room that Max was in, you could hear the thunderous thumping of Max’s tail. Even in his last few hours he tried to maintain that same thumping, but it had been softened by his condition but I knew he meant for it to be just as loud as it had always been.

Every time I walked into the kitchen today, I was looking out the window to see if I could catch the back and forth motion of a tail or the brown eyes peeking just over the bottom of the window. Sitting in the living room today I turned my head and briefly out of the corner of my eye I thought I saw Max coming to sit by me, but it was only a shadow that had managed to be dark enough to think it was my favorite black dog. Every time when I walked past the back door I would reach for the doorknob to let Max in or at least go outside and sit with him; But right before I would touch the knob I would remember.
I had always enjoyed wrestling with Max, or walking with Max, or petting Max as I read, or even just having him sleep at the floor of my bed every time I came home from school.
I miss my black dog, Maxie-dog, Maximus, Maxwells, dog-boy, bark-o, buddy-dog, and most of all I miss my friend Max. So here’s to a dog that really made me happy, through all the awkward, depressing, happy, sad, fun, boring, worst and best times. I really loved that dog and I never had any doubt that I did. It is going to be hard to get to sleep tonight.I miss my buddy.


About Wellsy

Chris is a twenty-something Special Education teacher and Football coach in a little town south of Eugene, Oregon. Chris happily lives with his beautiful wife and his terribly uncoordinated Grate Dane named Moose. Chris has been known to travel, like reading, wanting more time to writing, be in the outdoors more, and generally not befoul the world.

Posted on December 18, 2001, in tails & paws and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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