…just add water…

103 things:

  1. When I was younger I wanted to be a paleontologist or be in the Coast Guard.  If I could have combined the two, I would have been unstoppable
  2. I have a profound fondness, nay, love for dogs.  If it weren’t for Jess, I’d be my own version of a cat lady.
  3. I’ve stayed awake a whole night, not by choice, but because I couldn’t remember Don Knotts’ name.
  4. My dreams are way too realistic, often I think I am teaching and have to ask Jess if my students have left the room.
  5. I can’t stand the feel of Styrofoam.
  6. I’ve seen James Taylor in concert at least 4 times.
  7. I am a frequent Deja Vu-er.
  8. I’m taller than both of my parents.
  9. Sometimes I miss being in college and other times I’m completely thankful that I’m done with it.
  10. One of my best friends from college, Chris Pratt, and I share the exact same number of letters in our full names… we even lived in the same dorm room, on the same side of the room one year apart.
  11. I hate the movie Ol’ Yeller… and I won’t go see Marley & Me.
  12. The first time I met my wife, I scared her.
  13. When my dad gave me “the talk” he accidentally ran over some ducks.
  14. I was a good kid in high school, I was never written up, I never did anything illegal or that stupid.
  15. At home, though, I was usually grounded for something like coming home a handful of hours too late. At which point I would be made “Amish”.
  16. Many objects were flattened by myself and my friend Ben, anything we could find would be taken to the railroad tracks as we patiently waited for a train to come through and smear it 5 feet long.
  17. I’m pretty easy to read in the morning, if I’m humming or singing a song as I get ready, I’m feeling good.  If I’m squinty and non-verbal, stand clear.  But I’m usually in the first category
  18. I always thought I’d end up living in Mount Angel or Silverton… but I think I found a better place.
  19. Growing up, I wished my name was TJ.
  20. I wish my sister still came down for dinner on weekly basis.
  21. I have an autographed picture of Christopher Lloyd.
  22. Even though I’ve been to Pendleton more times than I can remember, I’ve never been to the underground.
  23. I didn’t have my license until I was 18.
  24. I was really into ska and punk during high school and college.
  25. Many a chair has been rendered asunder due to my posterior.
  26. I spoonerize in my head all the time.
  27. I love college football, I could sit down and watch any game.
  28. My wife and I are almost exact opposites, which is probably good news for me.
  29. I had a teacher tell me: “You’ll end up just like me,” and I have, now I say that same phrase to some of my students.
  30. Once, on a midnight drive to Corvallis with my friend Derek, I threw a stick of butter straight up out of the the car window.  It landed with a thunderous smack onto the top of the car–one of my most rewarding moments. ever.
  31. My sister and I had a pastime throwing her talking dolls down the stairs until they spoke a new language.
  32. I am a world-champion Sorry player.
  33. I suck at checkers.
  34. The one time I went to an overnight camp when I was six or seven, I stole a teddy bear.  In my defense, it was just like the one I had just lost.  But Karma caught up with me and later that summer when we were in Canada, someone broken into our car and stole my backpack full of toys, including the pilfered teddy bear… days after my birthday.
  35. One of the best things about staying home from school was watching  the Price is Right.
  36. I’ve always wanted to be able to play the guitar and not just a couple of chords from Nirvana songs.
  37. Gluttony: I used to be able to eat a whole large pizza by myself.  Plus bread sticks. Why was I fat?
  38. Sometimes I wonder if I’m slightly autistic.
  39. I have a very severe case of phantom cellphone vibration.  Which the major symptom is pocket slapping.
  40. After I bought Jess’ engagement ring, I couldn’t sleep… for the weeks before I gave it to her I would lay there awake.  I would have to get up in the middle of the night to look at it.
  41. I wish I had gone by the name: “Topher” or the even shorter, cooler version ” T’pher.”  But not the too short ” T’ph’r  “
  42. I can turn my eyelids inside out.
  43. Horses are too flighty for me.
  44. At some point, I would like to visit every continent.
  45. I’m a bad speller, to make it worse, I don’t like to reread my own writing.
  46. I have 12 years and five months to finish writing a book.
  47. I have scent memories, I smell something and sometimes it gives me a vivid memory linked to that smell.  I call them Smellories.
  48. I was a strict vegetarian for four years.
  49. Fish ‘n’ Chips unvegetarianed me.  Followed by breakfast sausage.
  50. I’m a habitual nail picker…. of my own nails, especially when I’m nervous.
  51. Teaching has made me better at witty comebacks.
  52. Up until I met my wife, I had no idea what I was going to do with my life, she got me to volunteer at a school.
  53. I used to have a hard time running one mile, now I can run ten easily.
  54. I accidentally stabbed my foot three nights ago.
  55. Mumbling, at least for me, is an art.
  56. I try to live by the rule: If its hard for me to do, it’s probably worth doing.
  57. Maine is the only other state in the U.S. I would even consider living in.
  58. I think eggs go with everything: Top Ramen, Hamburgers, Steak… it’s all good.
  59. Both oral surgery and eye surgery scare me.  Seriously.
  60. I often wonder if I had been better at Math, what else I could have done, especially because  science still fascinates me.
  61. I’ve never been in a fight and don’t look to have my first.
  62. I predicted the date of my sister’s birth, I was 4 at the time.
  63. My sister really owes me, I’ve pulled her out from in front of a car and out of a pool when she couldn’t swim.  I prefer cash.
  64. Summary of every one of my parent teacher conferences as a student: “He’s got so much potential, he just doesn’t use it.”
  65. Fine motor skills: I’m still working on them.
  66. I love to cook.
  67. Being squeamish has long been a problem of mine.  My retching can be heard from miles around.
  68. I read Dante’s Inferno as a ninth grader because my friends in higher graders were reading it.
  69. Sports I suck at: Golf and Bowling… and I’m ok with that.
  70. Almost anything with peanut butter is fantastic.
  71. I wore this number in football.
  72. The worst picture ever taken of me was on my first license.  Seriously hideous.  And no, I will not be posting a copy of it.
  73. I easily succumb to cabin fever.
  74. I once had a duck version of E. coli.
  75. I love crosswords.  Finally, useless knowledge pays off!
  76. I don’t like avocados, except in my own guacamole.
  77. When I was younger, we frequently played “guns” in the fertilizer mill compound.
  78. I’ve been kicked by and thrown off of a horse all within the same day… and the same horse.
  79. I’m leery of trampolines.
  80. I used to sleep walk as a kid.
  81. I was born in the only month without a holiday.
  82. I love to crab but I’m not a huge fan of eating crab.
  83. My hair grows out, not down.
  84. I have a wicked serve in racquetball.
  85. I’m a Calvin and Hobbs fanatic.
  86. I can play the saxophone.
  87. I really don’t have a problem with flying, it’s the take offs and landings that I’m not fond of.
  88. One of my favorite memories of our honeymoon was sitting on the rocks in Nova Scotia, watching the sun go down in front of a lighthouse which we were the only ones staying at.
  89. I actually love my job.
  90. I have hammer toes.
  91. Yesterday, I jumped up and touched the rim of a regulation basketball hoop for the first time. ever.
  92. If there is one meal that will always remind me of my childhood it would be biscuits and scrambled eggs.
  93. Just about every time I got on a skateboard, I ended up on my back with the wind knocked out of me.
  94. I’ve been yelled at by the Woodburn police to stop playing on the boxcars.
  95. I never want to go to Florida.
  96. I am constantly disappointed that I’ll never go to space.
  97. I’ve never been able to eat an ice cream cone like a normal person.
  98. I have phantom earthquake sensations, too.
  99. Doing homework in high school: no recollection of it.
  100. I hate having to multiply my eights and sevens.
  101. My mom was sure I was going to be a girl, my name was going to be Jordan.
  102. I helped a new born foal stand and nurse for the first time  today.
  103. I still feel like I’m 12.
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About Wellsy

Chris is a twenty-something Special Education teacher and Football coach in a little town south of Eugene, Oregon. Chris happily lives with his beautiful wife and his terribly uncoordinated Grate Dane named Moose. Chris has been known to travel, like reading, wanting more time to writing, be in the outdoors more, and generally not befoul the world.

Posted on March 15, 2009, in random whine and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. gotta love Burn cops you box car child

  2. Aw “GUNS” good times!

  3. There was also the time that the ‘burn cops tried to chase out of the the fertilizer mill, but we hid behind copious piles of fertilizer to evade being caught.

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