Category Archives: dreams

Anything about sleep or dreams, but probably mostly about dreams because I have some really creepy dreams.

Please don’t skydive or fire weapons while asleep

From 10pm to 6am last night, I was asleep. Giving me 8 hours of completely restless sleep marked with weird dreams.

I’m not sure why, but in my first dream of the night I was aboard a commercial jet. Eventually, myself and another person were sucked out of the open door of the aircraft and tossed out into a free-fall above an ocean. We must have been pretty high up because I fell for a long time. Through the whole fall, I remember thinking how painful the impact with the waters of the ocean was going to be. Re calling conversations about how water is as soft as concrete a fast speeds.  As the waters came closer and closer, I was already beginning to wince as hard as I could. Then the impact came.

It had the sound of a quick step into a puddle and I was left floating on the ocean. Eventually I ended up in a room with Jess, where she was completely thankful that I was alive and did not do my part to become little bits of food for plankton.

Which brought me into the second half of my dream. As Jess and I were sitting there conversing over how not dead I was, I saw a three pairs of headlights pull up outside of the building we were in. My cellphone rang and it was my father-in-law telling me that people were coming by the house and that their intentions were not good.

So Jess, her brother Danny (I’m not sure when he came into the room) and I gathered up our weapons to defend ourselves. Jess and Danny had shotguns and rifles, I had a single shot old-time pistol, something you’d see a pirate carrying around. It was hand carved and rusty.

As the attackers came up the stairs to we were, the gunfire ensued and we had ourselves a gun battle. Shortly after the bullets started flying, I was able to wrestle one of the attackers to the floor in a ‘half-nelson’.

Eventually, because of my perfect use of a wrestling move I’ve never tried, the other attackers wither gave up or were equally beaten without any bloodshed. Because we are decent people or because we felt bad for them, we ended up having dinner together. They were loosely handcuffed as they spooned soup into their mouths. After that, we walked them off to be incarcerated.

I have two ideas about the origins of these dreams:

Origin #1: I’ve been playing too close of attention to the recently resolved Somalian Pirate news story and replicated it into my dreams. (see: Navy SEALS parachute out to see to save captain, snipers, etc.)

Origin #2: My subconscious is telling me that no matter how bad things may seem like they could be, they’ll turn out better than I expected.

Ok, maybe there’s a third option: It’s my subconscious telling me that no matter how bad things get, I’m invincible.

Obamas, transformers & a guitar

I’m not sure if it is something I’ve been eating or the stress over the economy, but my dreams have been strange.

Two nights ago, Jess and I were neighbors of the Obamas. In my dream, I was feeling very secure having all of the secret service next door. The thing about living next to the Obamas was that not only were there many Obamas, but any time we left the house or returned to it, they came out to greet us.

That was the status quo for the dream until i noticed that the president had a huge growth on the back of his head. For some reason, I kept on thinking it was a brain slug.

Tonight’s dreams weren’t so congruent. First, I was helping construct Transformer (more than meets the eye) in a giant lab. Then, I guess I became a transformer, but nothing cool like a jet or a tank. I was just a metallic cube.

As a Transformer (more than meets the eye), my transforming compatriots and I were having a very frank and heated discussion on the words to use to initiate one’s transformation. We were about to agree on my suggestion of “Energize!” when all of the other Transformers (more than meets the eye) suddenly took of flying and driving out the door. Me, in my cubeness, could only watch… because cubes aren’t meant to move, apparently.

After being ditched in my own dream, it suddenly switched over to me being at a party, no longer a cube nor metallic. I was sitting there playing a guitar, effectively going through every Nirvana song ever written. All of a sudden a woman came up, grabbed the guitar by the neck and yanked it away from me. Had she been John Belushi, she would have smashed it against the wall and then apologize, but she just walked off with it.

House Fire… the musical

Am I wrong in assuming that most people, at least most of the time, have semi-normal dreams?  I’m not sure if it was because I had a relaxing day or what, but I had a freaky and ridiculous dream last night.

For some reason, my unconscious brain decided to reward me with a dream about having our house on fire.  Not just one house fire, but four separate house fires all in the same house.  Each time, the fire department would come, put the fire out… but lo’ and behold, I would find another spot that was still on fire.  Then repeat that action three more times.  On the final house fire, I went to push down a while (isn’t that what you’re supposed to do if your house is on fire?) and as it’s falling down, I am either transported or my reality shifts and I’m in a musical.

This isn’t your run-of-the-mill musical, like Rent or Cats, no… this is a musical at a on skates.  Not ice skates, roller skates.  That’s how classy I am.  I don’t even give myself the cool inline skates, these are the circa 1980 big wheels and even bigger rubber front brake.  So now, after stressing over my house being on fire, I am now in a horrible, cheesy skating-musical with a touch of can-can where everyone is pushing down walls.  In the finale of the musical, the diva can-can musical girl tries to push down the last remaining wall, which instead of falling, turns into giant rotating technicolor dice that shine and spin as we skate down a ramp.

Luckily, my alarm went off and I had to wake up, I’m not sure I would like to where this dream would have led me next.

Easily Influenced

It is interesting how I am so easily influenced, at least in my dreams. Lately, there has been a new string of couples around Jess and I who are becoming pregnant. Apparently, this has made an impression on me. Either that, it could be the backfiring of a on-going prank I’ve been playing. One of my buddies here at school has been on the receiving end of my accusations that he and his wife are expecting twins (which they are not), a boy and a girl. I’ve even gone so far as to bring him a present adorned with overly cute babyish items and cliche expecting phrases during lunch in front a majority of the staff… just to get the rumor started (by the way, the victim has agreed to let me start this rumor for fun).

And now it’s weighing on me, not the guilt, but the dreams. Last night, I had a long and vivid dream about Jess and I being parents to twins, and yes, it was a boy and a girl. The thing that bothered me was that we had kids, rather, it was that the babies were so slippery, I just couldn’t hold on to them. Thankfully, they seemed resilient and never cried despite the many times they hit the floor, soft-spot first. To top it off, there is nothing like waking up and for the first couple of minutes, and being unable to discern whether that was a dream, or that Jess and I had a pair of hard-headed babies.

Damn you, David Oreck

It’s been a while since I’ve had a bizarre dream, so I guess I was due, here’s the dream:

While out golfing with the administrators of my high school, I went to reach for my golf clubs but I came to the startling realization that instead of bringing a bag full of clubs, I brought a vacuum.  Ashamed of my mistake, I desperately tried to locate golf clubs within the vacuum but with every compartment I opened, all I found was vacuum accessories.

I’m not sure if this says something about my golf game (of which I have none), my cleaning, or my school… either way, I’m not sure what that statement would be.

May the Vilanch be with you

It was kind of difficult to fall asleep last night; after 15 minutes of laying in bed, I got stuck on a thought.  For some reason, my mind decided to plan ahead just incase I need to attend a costume party.  I had the distinct thought that if I needed to dress up, it would be a great idea to adorn myself as Bruce Vilanch’s face.  Some very detailed plans were laid out just prior to falling asleep. 

Some people lay awake a night with the desire to improve society and technology running through their minds… myself, on the other hand, I try to absorb former Hollywood Squares fan favorites in to my life.

Bruce Vilanch

Time to Wake up

The other night, I was having my usual buffett of strange and weird dreams.  The last one was of this kid who I’ve coached in football and baseball.  In my dream, he was complaining about not being able to go out for baseball.  He followed me around, unceasingly sure that not playing baseball was going to ruin his life.  No matter where I was, he was there expressing his sorrow.  Then, at one point, he stops and starts staring at me.  After a while, he says, “5…4…3…2…1…1…1…1…1” and then I woke up to me alarm which was buzzing at the same tempo as the kid was counting down. 

You know…

You know it’s not going to be a good day when you dream all night about calling in sick to work. 

 Plus, I think the dog was sleep walking.

custom made for a daydreaming boy

I don’t think that I was ever meant to sleep. I seem to have my weirdest experiences when I’m out cold. The last two nights have given me some weird dreams.

The other night, I dreamed that mom, Meagan, my friend from freshman year Monica, and myself were driving into Newfoundland. What I mostly remember from the drive is a lot of ocean and the moon, I’m not even sure if we were driving on the ground. We got to a house and I was talking to Meagan about how I was going to buy the house from mom and dad.

The dream I had early this morning was mostly the pope begging me to believe that he was an alright guy. We sat in his pope apartment as he pleaded with me saying, “I’m alright. I’m alright. Come on. I’m alright.”

I think I need to go to bed earlier or not go to bed at all.

You’ve got bills to feed and mouths to pay

What a horrible night of sleep. I am starting to believe the no one has creepier dreams than myself. The night started off with a dream infested (literally) with millions of bugs. These bugs looked like blood laden ticks and they were swarming every where. My least favorite was when I was drinking my milk and I noticed that it was tasting funny, so I looked in the milk and at the bottom of the cup were about ten of these bugs. I think the dream eventually became ridiculous when they crawled into the head of one of my friends–his then went *pop*. I think that woke me up the first time.

Then came the next dream which didn’t involve any bugs, milk, or exploding heads. I was dreaming that I was teaching and some of the class were being real jerks. Many of the people in the class were people I had not seen in years. Anyway, the class was being rowdy and I was getting unusually ticked off. It is always a weird sensation when you wake up from a dream extremely mad and then you realized that it was just a dream, and that a grown-up Pakistani student (this was in high school) didn’t just release your class a half hour after the morning bell.

I think I need a psychologist. or a drink.