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House Fire… the musical

Am I wrong in assuming that most people, at least most of the time, have semi-normal dreams?  I’m not sure if it was because I had a relaxing day or what, but I had a freaky and ridiculous dream last night.

For some reason, my unconscious brain decided to reward me with a dream about having our house on fire.  Not just one house fire, but four separate house fires all in the same house.  Each time, the fire department would come, put the fire out… but lo’ and behold, I would find another spot that was still on fire.  Then repeat that action three more times.  On the final house fire, I went to push down a while (isn’t that what you’re supposed to do if your house is on fire?) and as it’s falling down, I am either transported or my reality shifts and I’m in a musical.

This isn’t your run-of-the-mill musical, like Rent or Cats, no… this is a musical at a on skates.  Not ice skates, roller skates.  That’s how classy I am.  I don’t even give myself the cool inline skates, these are the circa 1980 big wheels and even bigger rubber front brake.  So now, after stressing over my house being on fire, I am now in a horrible, cheesy skating-musical with a touch of can-can where everyone is pushing down walls.  In the finale of the musical, the diva can-can musical girl tries to push down the last remaining wall, which instead of falling, turns into giant rotating technicolor dice that shine and spin as we skate down a ramp.

Luckily, my alarm went off and I had to wake up, I’m not sure I would like to where this dream would have led me next.

the roof… the roof… the roof is on fire…

In the space of a couple of days we actually had, not one, but two actual fire alarms at the high school. Pretty interesting stuff you consider we have a fire drill at least every month. The first was your run-of-the-mill elevator shaft filled with smoke because of leaking hydraulic fluid which was dripping onto the elevator motor.

On Monday, that was the biggie. A student, in their infinite wisdom, decided that they would gain respect and kudos from the student body by igniting a fire within one of the boy’s bathrooms. While the entirety of building was out of the curb cursing yet another fire drill, the fire engines started rolling in. We knew we were in for the long haul. For about twenty-five minutes we stood outside of the school, watching firefighters, the police, and district maintenance people going to and fro with fans. After that, we were allowed to go into the somewhat hazy and very dank halls and back into our rooms.

By the end of the next period, our principal was on the intercom saying that if anyone had any information about who had put flame to the bathroom, that there would be a handsome three hundred dollar reward for that person with such information. Luckily, this period also happened to be my prep period; as per my usual routine, I wandered down to office to check my mailbox to make slightly insightful yet humorous remarks to the office staff. When I walked into the office, there was a line of at least fifteen students outside the principal’s office, waiting to give up information for three crisp Ben Franklins. Keep in mind it had only been about three minutes since the announcement. Apparently the school’s firebug had also been boastful prior to ignition, shown by the population of students outside the office.

As it turned out, the saying about ‘loose lips’ and their destructive power over ships proved to be true and the person was quickly dealt with by the school. the lesson I took from this is to never underestimate the coercive power of money. Friends, foes, and strangers in passing will line up to tell of your misdeeds in order to grease their palm. But, of course, if you’re brave enough to regale a crowd with story, I guess you’ve got it coming.

Livin’ on the edge

Teaching can sometimes have that “ho-hum” persona to it but that was broken yesterday.  With about ten minutes left in fifth period, our principal came over the intercom that there had been a cougar sighting down by the river which is across the street from the school.  I’m sure that would have made walking home a lot more interesting.  As well, I wonder if skipping dropped between fifth period and the end of the day.  Nothing like a man-eating animal to curb truency.

To top it off, this morning when I came in for morning weights class, there had been a fire over in the gym complex.  Apparently, dryers and their contents can be quite flamable.  Not that the building was actually damaged, the dryer, on the other hand, was torched.  The entire gym building did have a particular pungent stink to it, except for the weight room which was right next to the dryer room; it smelled like a marshmellow toasted a little too long. 

…And people say teaching is boring.